Friday, January 21, 2011

The Little Things



Okay, so I am convinced that God chose me to be Levi's mommy for many reasons. I don't know all of them. But I feel like many of them are for my own benefit, rather than his. That little boy punches me in the stomach with more conviction than I can keep up with! Every day I feel like he is teaching me something else about my faith and God's desire for my relationship with Him.

Example #1: Like I wrote in my last post, my son has a love for the stories and words of God in scripture that even I envy. He is passionate about listening to the Word. Every night he wants to hear a story about "Seesus." He looks forward to it, tries to
make his time in the Word come faster. He has listened to the entire Jesus Storybook Bible 3 times. Somehow of all the books in his little library, he know
s this one is different, and he delights in it. Oh how I long for his delight in the Word.

Example #2: A few afternoons ago, my mom and sister and I were eating at a cute little tea room in Haltom City called Sipliciteas at Lonestar Antiques with Levi and Baby Judah. The first thing we did was ask for some crackers for the L-man because he gets crazy without something to play with or eat. As soon as he got is crackers he started whining loudly and reaching across the table for me. After we tried to shush him, he reached out his h
and again and bowed his head. He was reminding us that not even his hunger or desire to play was more important than being grateful for the Giver of all good things. Now, we do pray before every meal when we are out with my family. He has seen it many times. But he wasn't joining in a prayer. He was demanding that we stop and thank God. Now, I know that my son doesn't know exactly what he is doing. I know that his understanding is
extremely limited. But that doesn't change what Abba Father is using him to show me. He speaks loudly and clearly through my child.

"Through the praise of children and infants You have esta
blished a stronghold against Your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger." Psalm 8:2

Those are very profound things he teaches me about loving God. About passionate desire for Him.

But my precious Levi also teaches me through his disobedience. He is so strong willed. Which means he will be a powerful leader...if I can reign it in a bit.
The other day I was playing with him in the living room, and he said "Bye bye mama," and went in his room. I watched him go down the hall and start playing with some toys. Now I try and always keep his door open when he's in there, even if he wants to play alone. He always tries t
o shut it. But usually I am able to foil all of his attempts. But this particular day, he evaded my intervention. He shut the door. I could hear him giggle after it closed, he was so happy! He had been wanting to shut that door as long as he could remember. And then, after his brief moment of victory, he realized he was alone. Closing the door had separated us. He couldn't see me, and he panicked. That hard-headed little stinker started cryi
ng out to me and pounding his little fists on the door. I empathized with him in that moment. I have felt that very same way. I have closed the door on my Jesus to keep Him from seeing what I was doing. And in the midst of my disobedience I realize that I can't see Him. I realize that I'm alone, that it has separated us and I panic. And His mercy reaches out to me as I cry out and po
und on the door.

So wow, one little bitty one year old has definitely brought to light so many spiritual truths. He is a little ball of conviction, and a picture of forgiveness and mercy.

Especially when he gets drunk on milk and picks his nose.
or wears my underwear as a tie.



Sunday, January 16, 2011

Seesus


Weird title, right? I thought it was weird too when it was shouted at me by my worried-looking one-year-old. Now, in all fairness, I shouldn't be surprised that I have no idea what he is trying to say. Most of the time he just talks jibberish to himself. But he looked REALLY upset and kept saying "Seesus" and running away in an effort to help me see that he actually wanted me to follow him and find out for my self why "Seesus" was such an urgent matter.

So he went into the study (We are at my parents house) and grabbed a book. This book just happened to be The Jesus Storybook Bible. (If you haven't heard about this book and you have a small child, go here to check it out.)

Yes, friends. My baby, my little baby that I birthed a mere 1 year ago, was saying "Jesus," and wanting me to share in his exploration of who Jesus is. It was the single most fulfilling moment of motherhood I have yet to experience. It will probably remain the most fulfilling until the day my precious son falls at the feet of his Jesus and enters into the family of the redeemed. And he will. Even now at such a young age, his heart is stirred toward the Lover of his soul and a passion for the Word. And I have prayed for that since the moment I found out I was going to be his mommy.

But guiding him on that path is painful, can I get an amen? There is no step by step manual for raising my son to be a godly man. I can't find a book that will help me to ensure that he will fall prostrate before the wounded feet of Christ and give his life to the merciful God that I serve. But the Word seems clear that God expects me to leave deep footprints for my baby to follow. Amazon can't help me. But the precious, sacred, holy Word of God poured out on me can.

"Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them." Deuteronomy 4:9

"These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads." Deuteronomy 6:6-8

"he said to them, “Take to heart all the words I have solemnly declared to you this day, so that you may command your children to obey carefully all the words of this law." Deuteronomy 32:46

Discipline your children, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to their death. Proverbs :19:18

Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6

Discipline your children, and they will give you peace; they will bring you the delights you desire. Proverbs 29:17

And there are so many more. God has given me everything that I need for a godly life (2 Peter 1:3). He did not call me to motherhood without equipping me to do so. He has chosen me to be Levi's mommy. And I can't imagine a greater, more important calling.

He will know that love is not rude. He will now that the Lord will fight for him, he will need only to be still. He will be told the depth of mercy his daddy and I have experienced. We will not forget. We will make those footprints deep.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Ohhh, so he's THAT kid.

Yes, my friends. He IS that kid. And he is not ashamed. Nor am I. Be free, beloved child. Free to pick your nose in public no matter what the consequence. Social norms have no power over you. Outcast or not, your nasal passages will remain unobstructed!

And thanks for brightening an otherwise dull family picture. You are a rock star.

But seriously, I hope Levi always remembers to be exactly who he is, unashamedly. He has a big personality, and I hope he holds onto it.

Here he is, trying to French kiss his cousin Micah. And Micah is trying to bite his face off. This photo belongs in National Geographic! Ahh, the memories. These two are already best friends. They each carry around a picture of each other and kiss and hold the picture. Levi put his in his super secret hideout in his room. (Behind the changing table in the hole where the diaper genie goes. Don't tell him I know where it is.)

He has recently learned to say "Help," which comes out "Hup," and "taco" which is "tah-oh." His favorite words are "Ya-Ya," "Cot," (Uncle Scott), "Papa", "Mama", "Dah-dih", and "Uh-oh." He also loves to ride in his new red wagon, and anytime he sees it he says "Papa walk!" He is also a good baby, and really takes care of me when I am so sick I can't get off the couch. I love him. He is brave and independent, and has a smile that melts my heart. I mean, look at this smile:

I love being your mommy, Levi Travis Campbell! You are precious to me!

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Lame. So lame.

That is what I am, friends. Lame! I can't believe I didn't blog for the entire Christmas season! Here is my excuse: My husband was out of school! Because of this, I was busy busy chasing after two boys for a month. I think that is a valid reason.

So over the break, we played and played! Well, the boys played more than I did; I did more watching than playing. My health is improving in some ways, and worsening in other ways.

Quick health update before some seriously funny Levi moments. I have seen my doctor several times throughout this whole ordeal. She sent me to a neuro-urologist, a special neurologist and a neuro-ophthalmologist. Lots of doctor visits. Here are my symptoms and then we are moving on. Symptom # 1: Eye pain. The eye pain is usually semi-manageable, but there are days (like today) that I cannot even think because the pain is so severe. Eye pain is probably the worst pain I've had from MS. This could be/probably is due to permanent nerve damage from optic neuritis. Pain management is all we can do for that. Symptom #2: Fatigue. I know it sounds like no big deal, I mean, everyone gets fatigued. But I have days (like today again) that I cannot get out of bed. My body will not cooperate and it doesn't matter what is going on, I cannot get up. I cry a lot during these times. Before Christmas I was walking with a cane almost every day. Symptom #3: Electric shocks. These go from my head or shoulders down my body. When they are happening, sometimes my hands twitch and I can't hold a butter knife or put a straw into my Chick-fil-a sweet tea. My dexterity disappears. The doc thinks these are probably seizures. Bummer. I will update when I have some solid answers. Pray that they don't get worse. They are the most scary and uncomfortable symptom I've ever had.

Okay, so that is public enemies #s 1, 2, and 3. But I am NOT unhappy. I am Not letting Satan turn something God intends to be refining into something disheartening. By His grace I have been able to continue serving at church on the worship team, and I have been so blessed by them. They have helped me up and down the stairs, let me use chairs, and been understanding when I needed a mic stand for support while we were leading. God is so overwhelmingly good. He deliberately puts us in situations that call for total dependence on Him and his mercy. Then He powerfully administers His grace in unimaginable ways. I am in awe of Him daily. He quiets my anxious spirit and comforts my broken heart.

And the Word says that "our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body." I can hold out for that. I have Hope. And HE will not disappoint.

So on to Levi, who is probably the only reason anyone reads this blog anyway :) Its okay, I am getting used to being popular by way of my child. So Levi...I don't even know what to say about him. He is busy. And very...physical. He wears me out. The doc has told me that I need at least one, but preferably 2 days a week that I am not the sole caregiver. But I'm fearful that he will have killed me before those two days a week. He's EVERYWHERE. And he is precious. His favorite word right now is "Daddy" which he pronounces "Dad-dih." He also says "Mama" but only because he wants me to say "Levi" and then he repeats "Mama" and we go on and on like this. He loves balls, and is usually carrying one at all times. He got a bowling set for Christmas and enjoys knocking the pins over with his teeball bat. He loves is blue bear, which we affectionately call "Stinky Bear" because, well, he is very stinky. We wash him, soak him with oxyclean, but he is still stinky. And no other stuffed toy will do. Stinky Bear is starting to look very "Velveteen Rabbit"-ish. Maybe he will turn into a REAL 8 inch high blue bear.

Levi also loves baths. If the bathroom door opens for any reason, he is at the tub faster than I can catch him, with one leg already climbing in. When he does get in the bath he says "Bubbles!" He loves bubbles in his bath. He also loves his cousin Micah. He talks about Micah when he plays sometimes, but the name comes out "Cock." And when Micah hears Levi say cock, he says "Doo Doo." It is hilarious. Levi is a little rough for Micah right now, but I think they will grow into each other.

There is so much more to say, but this post is super long. I will start posting more often, and shorter posts. And pictures will come next time!